Three Chickens!!!

Doug's son says some pretty wacky things in his sleep! And other funny things kids say.

Transcript

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SPEAKER_05 0:00

And I am here today with a group of children who they'd like to introduce themselves. Let's start over here with Rowan.

SPEAKER_02 0:05

Hi Rowan. I am Riley. Kai Malina. Chris, you already know me, okay, bye.

unknown 0:12

Hi!

SPEAKER_02 0:12

I'm Maya, Turtles, and my fine in third grade. And I'm each. Up, bro. I'm a dear of all dads. You might know me from another episode. I'm nine and I'm in third grade.

SPEAKER_00 0:25

I'm a soda. I mean nine!

SPEAKER_02 0:36

I love stuffies.

SPEAKER_05 0:38

And she loves stuffies. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 0:41

I'm Lula Joseph. And I'm in third grade. And I also love stuffies. I'm supposed to be in the opera, not you, Lula. I am Charlotte from well in food grade. Hey, look quiet.

SPEAKER_05 1:00

We're not at the opera here, people.

SPEAKER_03 1:03

We are.

SPEAKER_05 1:07

Tell me something interesting about yourself. Let's go back to Rowan. Something interesting about yourself.

SPEAKER_01 1:13

Food.

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She's interested in food. Yes, we all are. Keeps us alive. Moving on.

SPEAKER_01 1:18

Uh um.

SPEAKER_05 1:18

Here's Riley.

SPEAKER_01 1:22

Um uh. I like blue.

SPEAKER_05 1:25

Oh, how exciting. She likes blue. It's really cool. Yeah, my favorite color too. My eyes are blue for those of you that have never seen me.

SPEAKER_02 1:32

Well, I'm very interested in tigers, because they're top hunters, and they're really good at like scaring away animals, and they're the biggest cat on earth. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:43

Oh, is my turn? Okay. I like picking out my stuffies in animals.

SPEAKER_05 1:51

Tell the audience your name, please.

SPEAKER_00 1:53

Oh yeah. Mono Tom Lake.

SPEAKER_05 1:56

And moving on to the one over here. Something interesting about yourself.

SPEAKER_02 2:00

Well, something interesting about myself. Uh, well, I uh like uh um I like jaguars.

SPEAKER_05 2:10

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 2:11

That's my thing. Um, and um, um, um um and dogs.

SPEAKER_05 2:19

Jaguars and dogs. Just don't get them together because jaguars will eat the dog. Not a good situation.

SPEAKER_02 2:24

No! You probably already know my interest. I am in the opera. Oh my quiet!

SPEAKER_05 2:32

Oh lord. This is getting a little uh getting a little out of control here. Let's move to our story, shall we? Yes, yes, yes, you should. And I'm uh Dougie Wuggy. Uh real name Douglas Robert Cole. Something interesting about me. I'm a professional harmonica player. Did you know that? Dougie! You know, you guys have heard me play that little introduction. I'm gonna actually play a song that it's called the Choo-Choo Chain.

SPEAKER_03 3:06

Oh boy.

SPEAKER_05 3:07

It sounds easy, but this is actually very hard to do. It's called double breathing. You wanna hear it?

SPEAKER_03 3:12

Yay!

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All right.

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Supper.

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And if you come to our show on Sunday the third, you will hear me uh do some more harmonica playing. Andre playing drums, and one of our staff members is gonna sing, and Andre's gonna do an awesome hip-hop routine with his friend Rod. Did you know Andre's one of the best hip-hop dancers in the Bay Area? It's true. Yes, he performed in New York, he was uh on Broadway, and he trained with the Alvin Ailey Dance Company.

SPEAKER_00 3:46

Is he famous?

SPEAKER_05 3:47

Uh he's pretty good. He's famous in the Bay Area. Okay, should I play the harmonica for you for a minute? Okay. Yeah, here's wait! All right, my audience is being a little rowdy right now. Okay. Okay, give me the ticket for the train, please. Seat belts on. Put on your helmet. Put on your googles. Your googles.

SPEAKER_02 4:10

Put on your goggles. My goggles are on.

SPEAKER_05 4:12

Here's the whistle. Okay. It is towards the end of the school day, and you know how you get a little bit kind of today's story is called Three Chickens. You may have heard this, but I've never recorded it. Okay, this is a true story about Andre when he was a kid. True story. When Andre was young, he used to talk in his sleep like a lot. A lot. In fact, whenever he was sick, like with the fever, he would see things in the room. Like he saw like these floating monsters and demons and stuff, and and he'd start moaning, he'd go, Daddy, daddy, come in. The monsters are back. And I'd come in his room and he would he would see these things like floating in the air. And you know when you have a fever, sometimes you have weird dreams. Do you know about that? Fever dreams? Yeah. But he would like kind of hallucinate and see weird things. And if if I came closer to his bed, he'd like, stop! You're making them, you're making them uh fly even faster, don't move. So I'd be like, Okay, I'm not moving. And then he'd fall back asleep. But he used to say all this random stuff in his sleep. Like one night, I was in his room, putting away his laundry. He was fast asleep. He sits up in bed, just out of nowhere, and he just goes, Three chickens! And then he falls back asleep. Scared the heck out of me. I like throw the laundry up in the air, like socks fall on my head. And in the morning, I was like, Andre, were you dreaming about chickens? He's like, No, why? I said, Well, you just sat up and you shouted, Three chickens. And he said, No. I said, Yeah. And then I started teasing him, I said, Maybe you were dreaming about chickens. Like you were at the store, and the guy said, What would you like to buy, young man? I would like to buy three chickens. He said, No, I don't think so. Then I said, Maybe it was one of those little counting books the kids have, like, one doggy, two kitties, three chickens! He's like, No, I don't think so. We never did figure out what he was dreaming about. We did have chickens in our backyard, actually, so maybe he was dreaming about the chickens. They actually, two of them got uh killed by a neighbor, by a, we think it was a coyote or a raccoon or something. So there's that. No, the neighbor no. In the neighborhood, we did have coyotes. We lived in the Oakland Hills. But you want to hear another thing he said that was really funny? Yes? Is that a yes? Yes, yes. Are we all listening over here and not drawing in our coloring books? All right. Um, so another time we're camping. And we're all sleeping. I'm just fine asleep. Andre is lying in his sleeping bag, fast asleep, and he sits up and he just shouts out, Mom! I'm like, oh boy, here we go. He's like, Mom, you just can't walk into a store and start juggling bagels. And then he falls immediately back to sleep. I know, right? The most random thing. We have some children on the floor laughing and choking at the same time. Are you joking or choking? I don't know. I think they're joking. Okay. Okay, we're having a little laugh attack here. They drank too much laughing juice. Okay. Yeah, and then in the morning I was like, Andre, were you dreaming about bagels? He's like, uh, no, why? I said, Well, you just sat up and you said, Mom! You just can't walk into a store and start juggling bagels. He's like, No, I didn't. I said, Yeah, you did. And my wife's like, Yeah, you did. And my daughter's like, yeah, you did. He's like, Oh my gosh. And I started teasing him, I said, you know, maybe you dreamt mom was like at the bagel store, she's like juggling the bagels, two on her feet, two on her fingers, one on her nose, slicing them, slicing on the cream cheese. He's like, No, I don't think so. But anyway, that's pretty random. So, yeah. But kids do say funny things, you know. Like, you know what Andre used to um call a helicopter? A hippic hopper. He'd be like, Daddy, daddy, look, it's a hippic. It's a hippic hopper.

SPEAKER_02 9:28

I say both cats, I say gooder instead of better. I always correct her.

SPEAKER_05 9:36

Yeah.

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I don't know.

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And and still be a person. And my daughter. My daughter, Julia, when she was little, you know, you know what, you know what she called a fever? A beaver. She said, She's like, Daddy, I'm sick. I can't go to school. I have a beaver. I was like, Really? You have a beaver? Yeah, I have a beaver. Oh, should I call the school and tell him you have a beaver? Say, yeah, tell him I can't come to school, I have a beaver. Hi, this is Julia's dad. She can't come to school today. She has a beaver. You better call animal control if you have a beaver.

SPEAKER_02 10:12

Did she not have a beaver?

SPEAKER_05 10:14

And you know what she called her eyebrows? Her eyebrows. She said, Dad. She no, she would go in front of the mirror and she'd be like admiring herself. She'd go, Daddy, do I have pretty eyebrows? I'm like, yes, you do. But they're not called eyebrowns, they're called eyebrows. She said, No, you're wrong. They're eyebrowns. I'm like, okay, you have pretty eyebrows. Yeah. You know what I used to call Coca-Cola? Do Do-da-Dodo. No, wait, listen. One day I had this total tantrum. My mom told me this. I don't remember this. I was like three or something. And I said, Mommy, I want a do-da-dodo. She's like, what? I want a do-da-do-do. She's like, what? What's a do-da-dodo? I want a do-da-do-do! I started throwing myself on the floor, pounding my fist. I want a do-da-do-do! I want a do-da-do-do.

SPEAKER_00 11:05

Wait, watch the do-da-do.

SPEAKER_05 11:07

And then, and then my brother comes in, and my brother says, he wants a Coca-Cola. And my mom's like, Oh, you want a Coca-Cola? Yeah, I want a do-da dodo. And then he says, I think he is a do-da dodo. I'm like, Yeah, I'm a do-da-dodo. No, kids do say funny things. And you know what Andre used to call his best friend Marco? Marker. He's like, Mark is coming over. Marco's coming over. Oh, that got him.

SPEAKER_00 11:40

And then what's in his friends?

SPEAKER_05 11:42

And I said, you know, Andre, his name is not Marker. It's Marco. He doesn't really like it when you call him Marker. He goes, but that's his name. It's Marker. I said, no, it's Marco. He thinks you're teasing him. I'm not. His name is Marker. I said, okay, but it's not. And then Marco came over for a play date and he was wearing all red. And Andre said, look, it's a red marker. Get out of the red marker. And he said, Hi, Marker. And Marco's like, Andre, my name isn't Marker, it's Marco. He's like, Oh, I thought it was Marker. Nope, it's Marco. He said, Okay, come on in, Marco. And he never called him marker again after that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 12:24

Was it embarrassing?

SPEAKER_05 12:26

Well, you know, kids do say funny things, but uh, yeah. You know what I said once?

unknown 12:31

What?

SPEAKER_05 12:32

I was like three. I slipped on the stairs and I hit my head. And I'm sitting on the stairs going, my head, my head, my widow head. And I kept going, my head, my head, my widow head. And my dad sat down next to me. I don't remember this. He told me this story. My dad sat down next to me and he tried to cheer me up, and he started copying me and he started going, My head, my head, my widow head, my head, my head, my widow head. And I looked at him and I said, Not your head, dum dum, my head. I know, right?

SPEAKER_03 13:13

Not your head, dum dum.

SPEAKER_05 13:18

And another time, uh, I guess I was about four or five. It was Thanksgiving dinner.

SPEAKER_03 13:24

Oh.

SPEAKER_05 13:24

And all the grown-ups were at the table after dinner, and all the kids, all the cousins and grandkids and stuff were in the living room and we were playing like Cowboys and Indians.

SPEAKER_03 13:33

Oh.

SPEAKER_05 13:34

You know, and you know, um, and I I guess I come running in to the into the dining room, and all the grown-ups are talking. And I said, There's trouble, there's trouble. And they're like, What? What's wrong? I said, There's trouble, and my dad's like, What? Where's the trouble? I said, There's trouble in the West! Pew, pew, pew, pew, pew! There's trouble in the West.

SPEAKER_03 13:56

Pew pew pew.

SPEAKER_05 14:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 14:04

Pew pew.

SPEAKER_05 14:07

Anyway. So, overnight from Thornhill and Adventure School. Say bye, everybody. Bye bye.